My gain is your joke

Well since I've gained more weight than I've ever had in my life. I get shit from people about it now. I mean luckily I'm not bulimic otherwise I think I would be in a lot of trouble right now. I don't know, I fear some sort of eating disorder will arise from this. I think I speak for every girl who struggles with weight when I say it's hard enough to get the weight off without people ridiculing you about how much you have gained, making most of us more depressed and giving us grief saying we'll never be as small as we were.

I made the mistake of leaning off vegetarianism when I didn't have a job and had to survive by eating what the house ate. Now I'm paying for that in weight, and comfort with myself. I non longer feel like me, I feel as though I'm a totally different human being. I haven't gotten my ACTUAL weight in a while, but according to the WII fit which I'm convinced may be inaccurate and a sad way to get people to think they're too fat, I'm 170! That's 40 pounds more than my normal weight. I'm not exactly sure where it lies but that's what I weighed in as on the body test. Is that stuff really accurate? Or is it all a scam like I think it is to get people to buy more WII fit games? I'm going to put it to the test next time I'm in a publix.

I feel like everyone notices that I've gotten way out of shape, and I wish there was a way to just make myself invisible so they don't see. A lot of my "skinny" clothes no longer fit and I don't have the money to get a new wardrobe, so the cheapest way out for me is to not eat. Maybe one meal when I start feeling really bad, but that's it. All that measuring my food and working out on WII didn't help at all. I can't go for runs because my shins start burning to the point I can't walk for hours. Maybe take a shitload of pain killers and run until I can't feel anything. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I hope I can hold up until I figure it out.