My gain is your joke

Well since I've gained more weight than I've ever had in my life. I get shit from people about it now. I mean luckily I'm not bulimic otherwise I think I would be in a lot of trouble right now. I don't know, I fear some sort of eating disorder will arise from this. I think I speak for every girl who struggles with weight when I say it's hard enough to get the weight off without people ridiculing you about how much you have gained, making most of us more depressed and giving us grief saying we'll never be as small as we were.

I made the mistake of leaning off vegetarianism when I didn't have a job and had to survive by eating what the house ate. Now I'm paying for that in weight, and comfort with myself. I non longer feel like me, I feel as though I'm a totally different human being. I haven't gotten my ACTUAL weight in a while, but according to the WII fit which I'm convinced may be inaccurate and a sad way to get people to think they're too fat, I'm 170! That's 40 pounds more than my normal weight. I'm not exactly sure where it lies but that's what I weighed in as on the body test. Is that stuff really accurate? Or is it all a scam like I think it is to get people to buy more WII fit games? I'm going to put it to the test next time I'm in a publix.

I feel like everyone notices that I've gotten way out of shape, and I wish there was a way to just make myself invisible so they don't see. A lot of my "skinny" clothes no longer fit and I don't have the money to get a new wardrobe, so the cheapest way out for me is to not eat. Maybe one meal when I start feeling really bad, but that's it. All that measuring my food and working out on WII didn't help at all. I can't go for runs because my shins start burning to the point I can't walk for hours. Maybe take a shitload of pain killers and run until I can't feel anything. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I hope I can hold up until I figure it out.

Lemonade fast isn't going to work for me

I'm afraid of when I have to go back to solids, still working on the fast though, but I'm just wicked hungry and I don't know what I should be eating right now that won't mess it up, I guess I can make some broth... bleh

Master Cleanse

Going to walmart right now to buy lemon juice and cayenne pepper. I have to put off the rest of these pounds quickly, I haven't made ANY progress since my last post! lol But I must lose weight in the next two weeks. I have a shoot coming up for SG

Fell off the wagon...

So yeah, I haven't been working on the weight loss for a while. Guilty! I tried the running thing and turns out getting kicked in the shins playing soccer around 13 years ago catches up with you when you turn 26. So I've decided that once I get back on the money train I'll get a gym membership. :) That's all for now, I'm still not skinny enough for me.

Tempted to cheat

I am so wanting to just get skinny and get it over with... I'm thinking of trying the lemonade cleanse. I'm vegetarian so the amount of calories I eat are usually 160 per meal so I don't see the weight coming back once I lose it on the lemonade fast. I'll be munching fresh fruit and veggies for food during the fast to keep nutrients in my body.. just none of my soy meat replacements since those cals are much higher... yes, I'm losing inches but I weighed myself today and almost cried... 160... WOW! almost 30 pounds heavier than I've ever been in my LIFE! That's depressing... I'll let you know what happens... see you in a week for the weigh-in!

End Of Week 1

It's the end of the first week in my journey and I already see a difference in my gut! I'm so freaking excited about this and now it doesn't seem so impossible to get back into the shape I was only 9 months ago. I haven't been ACTUALLY going out to run but I use my wii fit, take the stairs and work instead of the elevator, I walk more briskly when going to my car as I'm leaving work and walking more briskly when going in to work, even though I really don't want to be there. I've also been counting calories. Not like a calorie counting nut, but I have been watching them. Being on a vegetarian diet helps a lot too. When I get hungry I have a cup of coffee with 3 teaspoons of organic unbleached sugar (15 cals) the coffee has 0-4 cals. It usually helps me when my daily intake is 400 calories less so that I can fill the rest with coffee or water and an occasional apple or banana if the coffee starts to upset my stomach because of drinking way too much of it without getting nutrients from food. Here is my big unveiling, you might not see a difference, but I do!

Minor Set back...

Ok so I was drained to get up this morning to run, apparently I've only burned like 4 cals today and I'm under my goal intake by 420 so I guess that's good. Lots of protein today at least sooo until tomorrow...

Day 1 Week 1

Today at 6am I will be doing my first 2 mile run look at how late I'm up! Not a good start but ok, maybe I'm sort of excited that I'm getting motivated enough to do something about this horrid weight I've gained over the past 6 to 8 months I believe?

WEEK 1 SNAPSHOTS



Who could be so brave to post her fat arse all over the WWW? ME! I'm fat, and I'm not ashamed to show that I am truly OUT OF SHAPE!

BREAKFAST

100 CALORIES of organic soy yogurt


EXCERCISE

A brisk 2 mile run



WEIGHT LOSS GOAL FOR THE WEEK

I am going to be realistic about this, I won't lose a POUND this week but if I do, oh goddesses of skinny, let it be 2 lbs...??? PSH, I'd be happy if I even lost .5 lbs. REALLY!!



Until next week...